The unsung work of women everywhere

Musing about the books Wifedom by Anne Funder and The Meaning of Wife by Anne Kingston.

From my own memory, without consulting quotes from the books or my many personal notes:

Anna Funder adored George Orwell, the author of 1984 and Animal Farm. She read all his books and all his biographies and couldn’t get enough.

One day she wanted to write a biography about George Orwell herself, but realized all the other biographies previously written told his story already. What could she bring to the table that would set her book apart from the others?

Somehow, Anna Funder stumbled across something unexpected which detoured her original intent and led her to write not George Orwell’s biography, but rather, the story of his wife Eileen O’Shaugnessy. (Sort of.) She named the book Wifedom.

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Before we continue, please note I copied this essay into my personal blog on WordPress. I have not cross-shared my writing between the two platforms before. If you subscribe to both platforms, thank you.

A warm welcome to my latest subscribers: ToniJean613 and justletmeinnow19. Thank you for joining me in my Room with a Door.

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Eileen, the first wife

Orwell’s first wife Eileen, whom he married in 1936 and who tragically died of a hysterectomy in 1945, wrote some letters to friends which Anna Funder discovered and which became the basis of her non-traditional biography/essay/non-fiction/story.

While reading these letters, she came to see a different Orwell – whose name at birth was Eric Arthur Blair – than the one she thought she knew from reading his books and the biographies. Her reflections and the clever way she ended up composing Wifedom mingled with the ongoing identity/roles dilemma women continue to struggle with, shedding a new light into a private part of the author she so cherished and respected.

Wifedom is not a traditional bibliography. Here is some of what is being said online about this book:

These revelations ultimately led to Anna’s latest book, Wifedom, which sheds light on the physical, intellectual, emotional and even financial sacrifices Eileen made in her marriage to Orwell. Described as genre-bending, her book is a mix of biography, essay, and fiction. (Good Reading Magazine)

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Compelling and utterly original, Wifedom speaks to the unsung work of women everywhere today, while offering a breathtakingly intimate view of one of the most important literary marriages of the 20th century. It is a book that speaks to our present moment as much as it illuminates the past. (Penguin Books Australia)

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Wifedom provides a detailed and compelling examination of how the private and public lives of a writer intersect, of how a great writer mercilessly exploited the woman that loved him, of how she was essential to the creation of his art. As Funder puts it: To my mind, a person is not their work, just where it came from. (The Newtown Review of Books)

The book (so far, I’m less than halfway through) has touched on a variety of themes and often contradicted my own perspective about Orwell. I read 1984 and Animal Farm in high school with only six years of English capabilities (my mother-tongue is German – I learned English from scratch at age 12). I never read any other works by him, but now I want to.

Feminism, patriarchy and so much more

Themes prevalent throughout Wifedom covered by the author’s unique voice include a vast array of options. She jumps back and forth between her present reality and the historical significance of Orwell’s time after he married Eileen (just before WWII). She touches on:

• patriarchy

• marriage and relationships, traditional and otherwise

• poverty

• English colonialism

• oppression of the poor

• oppression of women

• fascism

• homosexuality

• feminism

• gender roles and expectations

• creative outlets

• domestic roles

• education

• (there will be more, I’m sure, as I continue to read)

I read a single chapter a day, sometimes half a chapter, because I need time to reflect and ponder, think and ruminate, write and delete (and re-write) all the thoughts going through my mind…

Have you read this book? Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts!

The Meaning of Wife

About ten years ago I read another book with a similar title, by Anne Kingston called The Meaning of Wife. One of the first chapters talks about the Americanized ritual of wedding planning which has been covered in multiple movies, including the very funny and cleverly acted BrideWars (2009) with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway.

Note: I’m not ‘legally’ or ‘religiously’ married and even if I was, I would not have had a traditional wedding, and not just because of the money.

This book (The Meaning of Wife) provides a contemporary perspective on what it means to be a wife in modern society, and the author left no stone un-turned when she described the length (and outrageous expense) brides go to in the name of achieving the perfect wedding. (That was just one chapter, she writes about other topics related to being a wife in the rest of the book.)

Part of me wonders what kind of wedding I might have had if I had chosen to go that route. I know I would have wanted small and intimate, or perhaps I may have chosen to elope, which in all honesty, appeals to me more than an expensive party.

As you can see, this whole topic about wife-dom is on my mind. It wasn’t that long ago when I suffered my own identity crisis (and/or midlife crisis, call it what you will), and although I feel better today than I did pre- and during the pandemic years, I still grapple with self-identity, roles and expectations, not just as a (common-law) sort-of wife (and mother which is related to wife) but as a modern (?) traditional (?) woman.

Or, as a contemporary woman who once lived life on her own terms before becoming absorbed in couplehood with minions attached to her hip…

I still don’t know who I am, really, and today’s social and political climate isn’t particularly helpful…

But I digress.

Social climates and women in politics

The timing – to read about feminist topics – is of course quite apt at the moment; Kamala Harris will no doubt have a huge uphill battle to navigate between now and that fateful date in November (although at the time of this writing, she has incredible momentum), not to mention what(ever) comes after. (Dare I say without fact-checking that most democratic politicians are male? That most of her inner circle is/will be male? Some males will show unwavering support but if you think it’ll be easy for her you’re delusional.)

I feel drawn to the plight of women who have found a way to do their (political) thing. I am keeping a keen eye on the women today who are finally (!) finding a way to elevate themselves into a place where they should have belonged all along. I was not very familiar with Hilary Clinton’s presidential campaign, but I was just as horrified as so many others when she watched the other one (ugh) take the top seat.

I felt her pain. I can’t help but wonder how today’s political climate affects Mrs. Clinton…

Personal politics

I could get into polarized politics here but I won’t elaborate in depth except to say this:

For those of you who are curious, my political stance is hovering directly over the Center. On some issues, I lean a little left, on others, a little right. I do not veer off too far in either direction and wish we here in Canada had a more adequate political representation for the centrist voter like me. We do not. And voting continues to be a challenge.

Moving on…

Male biographers and the lens through which they saw the wives of their subjects

The point of this post is about seeing the women do the thing and be acknowledged for it. To take a page from Wifedom, some of the male writers who wrote about George Orwell declared that his wife seemed to have “enjoyed tending to the domestic chores, the animals, even cleaning out the latrine” in the name of allowing her husband the freedom to write his books.

WTF.

Enjoyed? I beg to differ. She was expected, just two weeks after her honeymoon, to do it all by herself, drop her own ambitions and creative projects in the name of allowing him to work/write. She was expected to tend to all his needs, while often too tired to even wash herself (because she would have had to do in the freezing cold cottage with freezing cold water she first had to go collect). She (all wives of her era, really) was expected to step into those roles of tending to husbands, animals, (and offspring for many) in addition to the domestic chores. Never mind her own advanced education, her writing/proofreading/editing and typing skills. Never mind her own desires.

Never mind his numerous infidelities.

My own grandmother, who also accepted her role as wife, mother and housekeeper, called the gig “thankless”.

Acknowledgement or gratitude wasn’t delivered because she - the wife - did what she was supposed to do: tend to everyone but herself.

Look around you today. How many women have multiple interests, talents, skills? Did the women a hundred years ago, five hundred years ago, not have those same interests, talents, skills? In some cultures, the discrepancies between the gender roles and expectations are heartbreaking…

Supporting the writer

There was another quote somewhere where someone mentioned that Orwell’s prose in the stories he wrote while married to Eileen were superb and clearly improved from the work he produced during his unwed days. As a writer, I can attest that writing tends to improve as one writes more, but it came out later somehow (again, apologies for not quoting from the book directly) that Eileen – a college educated lady – was his editor and fine-tuned many of his books. Previously (or during her marriage) she also helped her brother, Laurence, who was a thoracic surgeon, with proofreading and editing his scientific papers and books.

Scientific papers! I mean, she could clearly handle complicated scientific text, but she was expected to (reduced to) to happily scoop chicken shit because she was a wife.

Note: Nothing wrong with farm work. I’m just saying the balance always tipped to the male, never the female.. The husband was perfectly content to allow (!) the talented wife to be his unpaid/unacknowledged editor but only after she fed him and washed up and tended to the animals and emptied out the latrine… and, remaining unwashed because who has time to tend to personal hygiene when one finally has something interesting to do like read prose and help improve it?

Ugh.

Concluding remarks

Wifedom is an intriguing book in that the so-called hidden (unsung) wife of a major and important author played a significant role in her husband’s professional life but was either ignored or suppressed. Certainly not acknowledged or, I don’t know, celebrated… Anna Funder found a way to bring this fascinating woman forward. Finally, her light is seen, appreciated, celebrated.

Anna Funder’s voice relates and entertains, and her insights as well as her occasional admissions of guilt when she writes about her hero’s transgressions make me pause and ponder. How can he - Orwell - write so eloquently about the Burmese oppression at the hands of English colonial elites yet exploit, mistreat and undermine his own wife?

Wifedom manages to shed light into Orwell’s life through the lens of his first wife, and it is fascinating. I can’t wait to continue reading.

Thank you for reading this post! Do let me know if you have heard of Wifedom or plan on reading it. Frankly, I’d love to have a discussion about this book.

In terms of The Meaning of Wife, few people I know have heard of this book, which is unfortunate. I recommend reading this book. I may do so a second time myself.