Word study: crestfallen

Uncommon but not unheard of; the word crestfallen sparked an essay about online connections inside writing communities

Jan 27, 2024

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When I began writing formally (personal blog, fiction), my children were still young. As they grew, so did my virtual writing community to beyond 4000 subscribers. While learning how to be authentic without disrupting the privacy of the people in my orbit (sometimes failing but never intentionally), I acquired a significant tribe of like-minded individuals who continue to enlighten me with their presence on my online platforms to this day. Some of these people are writers themselves; it delights me to see them read and comment on my content. Others are readers, preferring anonymity to public declarations, but letting me know in other ways they appreciate my content. (Thank you, I appreciate your readership.)

It is these people, the writers and readers in my community, who sometimes, inadvertently, mention a phrase, a concept, or just a single word during a virtual - typed - conversation which unleashes a word flow inside my head. Inevitably, I sit down at my laptop and form these words into an essay.

This is exactly what happened this week. Someone responded to an email inquiry using a somewhat uncommon word to describe a sentiment. Being a wordy gal, I immediately latched on to the word, unable to let go. I wanted to dig deeper into its origins, its contemporary uses, its academic meaning. And so I did.

The word in question is crestfallen. Keep reading and I will give you a brief history of the word. But first, allow me to share how I came to build a much-loved online community of writers and readers.

The following essay is an attempt to show you how I have come to be a Writer of Words (with the etc hanging off the edge to allow for other creativity to evolve and flourish), and that it is possible to make authentic, satisfying connections with people I have not met, or may never meet, in real life.

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Rooted in words with an online companion

Some years ago I met someone in my online writing community through our mutual blogs with whom I developed a writer’s relationship. We connected over the typed word, mostly, and the language between us seemed to flourish whenever we shared a myriad of overthinking, ranging from overtly superficial to deeply enlightening thoughts. The virtual friendship lasted for several years until it ended somewhat abruptly, ironically over a wordy misunderstanding. The ensuing disconnect both saddened and liberated me; saddened because I miss the habitual dialogue, and liberated because I have more time to devote to my craft without the daily deluge of distractions. I do have some regrets; the departure of that verbose connection left quite a significant void in my writing life.

Friendship in spite of a different worldview

A friend from my past who lives on another continent communicates with me regularly using language I often find eloquent and didactic. Our friendship is rooted in real life (we went to high school together) but flourished with the digital technological advances we’ve all grown accustomed to over the last thirty years. Incidentally, we used to write each other snail mail letters, like traditional pen pals of an era long gone, then migrated to email and chat apps so prevalent in contemporary life today.

I enjoy our communications back and forth and she always manages to enlighten me about various personal situations in ways that I might not have thought of myself; her worldview is very different from mine in that she is a fundamental Christian and I am the opposite of that label. (I am a spiritual person without attachment to organized concepts of religion, if that makes any sense.) The point is, she and I enjoy a mutual benefit in spite of our vastly different worldviews, and that sparks and cultivates my internal propulsion to put into words the thoughts in my head ignited by our conversations.

The significance of my blogging tribe

My virtual tribe attached to my personal blog plays a very significant part in my writing life in that the dozen or so regular readers of thousands of subscribers take time out of their lives to comment on my words. I also appreciate every acknowledgement I gain from publicly visible evidence that someone has read my words but didn’t leave a comment yet still courageously hit the like button - a like is meaningful and validating and if you’re a reader who doesn’t comment, allow me to thank you here for reading and liking me words.

Lurkers (people who read but never acknowledge by liking or commenting) show up in random statistical analysis, but I am not driven by these numbers or their graphic representations; I only very occasionally glance at the ever-growing list of reader stats. But more on this topic another time. For now, know that I see you seeing me, and I appreciate it.

Those who lurk but reach out privately

Every so often, someone comes along who drops me an email, admitting they found me through one of my online channels, typically my website and blog. People don’t always want to acknowledge their admiration for something I’ve written on a public forum, and I respect that. The fact that they do reach out through a more personal channel - by emailing me - makes my heart sing.

There have been several over the years, many with whom I am still in contact with today.

Meaningful words uttered by private connections

It was through one of my private channels where I came across the word I mentioned above which stuck like glue to my grey matter.

Crestfallen

I was so taken by this word, familiar to me but very rarely used or seen in all my years of reading and writing, that I fell asleep thinking about it and woke up thinking about it some more.

The morning after I read the email containing the word crestfallen, I got up at 4:40 am. I brewed coffee, set up my writing station and started thinking about what, or how I was going to write about this word.

What does it mean when someone admits to feeling crestfallen?

Of course I looked it up. But before I elaborate on that, let me share what I thought of first when I read the word in that email.

Crests

In my mind I saw a symbol - or crest - made out of wrought iron or medal, hanging above a doorway to a pub. During my flight attendant days, I encountered many such crests in my travels across Europe, particularly the United Kingdom, but also in Switzerland where I lived during my formative years.

Googling the word crest is of course an adventure in itself; naturally I had to sift past all the toothpaste advertisement in order to get to the crest I was searching for.

But the iron wrought crest of my memory did not link directly to the meaning of the word, which is odd. In fact, a different kind of crest was mentioned in two separate places: the crest on a rooster and the crest on a horse.

Official definition of crestfallen

The first dictionary I came across mentioned a hanging head. Yes, this is what I see when I think of a crestfallen person; sad, looking down, avoiding eye contact.(I have been crestfallen many times, I get it.)

Merriam-Webster

The next definition was simpler and didn’t provide the visual of hanging one’s head. However, I thought disappointed was a less accurate description of crestfallen. If I ran out of chocolate or cheese, would I be crestfallen? I think not. Disappointed, maybe, but not crestfallen…

Cambridge

Then, a surprise. The online version of the Cambridge dictionary provided a visual crest, not the one of my memory, but a different one.

I saw many such crests in Switzerland; each Canton has its own, and I remember clearly having to memorize then in my Swiss primary school.

The word crestfallen, however, had little to do with crests of geographical regions.

History of crestfallen

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/crestfallen

Roosters (cocks) with crested heads, or horses bowing their heads toward the crest in their chest, may have contributed to the visual of hanging one’s head and may have invited the word's meaning: low in spirits, depressed, defeated in some way (psychologically, emotionally) or deeply saddened.

There is mention of humiliation or shame which I find is not in line with my interpretation.

And just like that, the word crestfallen has entered my toolbox of words I now consider in my daily writing adventures.

What do you think about the word crestfallen?

PS If you are currently feeling crestfallen, which many of us might admit to at least sometimes, try to find someone to reach out to. Writing about it in your journal may also be helpful. Just know that you are not alone.

If you have a writing community you created online, share it with me, I’d love to check out out!

As always, thank you for reading my words. Feel free to leave a comment or drop me an email, I’m happy to respond.

Room with a Door